Facing divorce at age 57 was the most difficult situation of my life. Fear, heartbreak, not knowing where to turn or what to do – that was me. After doing online research I contacted Heartland Family Mediators and spoke at length with Jim Johnson. Following that conversation I discussed mediation with my then husband as a possible path for us to follow and we agreed to meet with Jim.
After meeting with Jim I immediately felt better. While it did not give me any comfort, my spouse told me he felt better too. Jim just has that effect on people. His approach is respectful, sensitive and he relentlessly focuses on collaboration. Nothing could eliminate my sadness. But Jim made it so simple. Sadly that doesn’t happen often in divorce situations. Friends often relate horror stories in hopes of being supportive. Unknowingly they sometimes support anger. If I learned anything from this sad process it is that if I wanted to go forward as a healthy (not angry) person, I had to focus on my wants.
Jim clearly possesses those rare qualities of insight and wisdom about how people are people. He meets you where you are. At the start I was lost and uninformed about our situation. Jim made me feel all my questions were important. He never treated them dismissively. He persisted in walking me through each issue until I understood, never making me feel foolish. Jim showed patience and compassion to both of us too. Our children were adults and Jim insisted that we continue to behave as loving parents – even at their age – because minimizing the impact on them was imperative to both their emotional health and to our future family relationships as well.
Our ability to collaborate as a couple during our marriage was something we had been able to do. When things turned bad, that collaboration evaporated. Jim helped us return to that place and we were able to navigate through this very difficult period. I learned in that collaboration that Jim was fair minded, wise, and he was committed to help both of us achieve what we wanted.
I am glad we chose Heartland Family Mediators to help us through our divorce for financial reasons too. Had we used attorneys, I am certain our efforts to work through our divorce would have left me more scared, angry, and my heartbreak would have been even worse. We also would have squandered significant assets in wasted legal fees all because of anger. If my initial guess on how much the divorce would have cost us in attorney fees is correct, choosing mediation resulted in total costs that were about 20% of my estimated attorney costs.
I am so grateful to Jim and Heartland Family Mediators. Amy, Jim’s co-mediator, is very kind and she made wading through the seemingly endless paperwork a mere procedure. Thanks, Amy!
For the rest of my life I will be grateful that Jim and Amy were there for me, my ex, and for our children when we were at our lowest point. Their kindness, compassion, fairness and wisdom were present in every meeting and in every phone call. For any couple facing divorce I unqualifiedly recommend Jim and Amy at Heartland Family Mediators. They helped us move forward and to embrace peace.
