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Can an amicable divorce really happen?  Can couples set aside their anger, hurt, resentment for a much higher good?  The answers to these questions, if you want them to be, are yes, yes, yes!

Divorce presents enormous difficulties for children.  How the process plays out largely determines the extent to which the children may be hurt.  Even when they are quite young, children have emotions, fears and feelings.  In their tender hearts, they may wonder if they themselves are the reason for the divorce.  They may think: “My parents don’t love me,” or “If I had behaved better, it wouldn’t have happened.”  Many frightened children think these thoughts every time they see or hear their parents argue.

Try your best to make the minutes you and your spouse spend with your children good experiences.  Show your children that mom and dad can make it work for their sakes.  Those few minutes can change their lives!

A friend and mentor of mine says it this way: If mom and dad will agree on one thing, they will agree on anything, if that one thing is how they want their children to look when they are 25 years old spiritually, emotionally and in their capacity to have authentic and fulfilling relationships with others.  If parents think about it, who would not want what is best for their children?

Children need to know mom and dad love them.  Children need to experience and see that even though their parents no longer live together, their love for them has not changed.  After all, and like it or not, the child’s future will be shaped largely by the way mom and dad handle the divorce.

Are you considering or going through divorce? You have the power now to help your children approach their own future relationships effectively and to assure their happiness. It really is up to you. And if you are a friend of a person facing this crisis, support what is right for the children. Winning is not what is important. What is important is allowing those little people to enjoy their one and only childhood comforted by knowing they are loved. That guarantees for them a happy and fulfilled life.

Children deserve peace in their lives.  With all the negativity in the world, children need to have one place where they can find peace.  That place should be home — even if that home has two different addresses.