When it became clear that getting a divorce was unavoidable, I was pained when I reviewed options available to me. Our children were adults. I didn’t understand all of the details regarding our finances. I was fearful about my future financial security. I knew in my heart that I wanted to be fair but I needed to do my best to assure I could take care of myself financially later. Should I get an attorney? That thought made me sick. It would be so out of character for both of us to do that. It was a painful and frightening experience.
As I did research I discovered mediation as an option. The more I heard about it the more interested I became. I was concerned that I would not have an advocate in mediation. But the way mediation seemed to work seemed more aligned spiritually with the way our relationship had been over the years. So we decided to take mediation as our direction. Our divorce now is final. Looking back on the process we experienced, I am convinced choosing Heartland Family Mediators was the best decision I made. The mediator and his associate made the mediation proceedings as painless as possible. After thinking on the experience, the following words come to mind as I look back to our sessions with the mediator:
- Professionalism – The Heartland Family Mediators staff followed protocol meticulously.
- Educational atmosphere – As we proceeded through each step of the process everything that was going on was explained in terms and ways I could easily understand.
- Advice – The mediator impressed on both of us the importance of our committing to each other to get along after the process was complete.
- Compassionate – The mediator went to great lengths to understand our situation and his caring attitude helped me stay at peace during each meeting.
- Equitableness – There was no taking sides. What was best for both of us was clearly at the forefront. There were moments when I wanted an advocate, but in the end I am certain my needs were given their full voice as were the needs of my husband.
Some important things that I would also like to express:
- During the meetings, at some point, I needed to cry, and it was okay! I was cared for and comforted. (They even had plenty of Kleenex!)
- I appreciated the focus on equitableness. That focus I think left both of us believing the process was fair. That definitely will support our getting along as we go forward.
- There were tense and anger-filled moments. But I believe the mediator and his associate turned what potentially could have become a highly volatile situation into an atmosphere focused on peace. That made for a relatively pain free experience.
This past Christmas Season was the first since the divorce. There remained some sadness. I believe with all my heart though that our using the mediation process took some of the heartache of the divorce away. It made this Christmas easier to bear. I am hopeful that the same will be true for the rest of our lives. I wholeheartedly, without any reservation, recommend Heartland Family Mediators!
D.W.