When we were going through our divorce, things got bad quickly. They seemed to remain that way forever, almost as if time had stopped. Our attorneys seemed to think of themselves as warriors. I mean, they were out of control. To this day I cannot tell if they even liked each other.
My ex and I co-owned rentals when we were married. When it came time to divide things up, we went back and forth with the lawyers on how to split those rentals. As soon as we seemed close to a deal, we’d end up back to square one.
A friend referred me to Jim Johnson. He said Jim could help us work things through. That is exactly what happened. Jim helped us build a plan to divide our assets fairly, and it made sense.
The process wasn’t easy. I was angry during our first meeting. Jim asked questions that made me feel he was siding with my wife. What’s funny is that my ex later told me she felt Jim was siding with me! He kept both of us focused on the goal, and ultimately we agreed on something that worked for us – something we both could live with.
What was most important about my experience with Jim? He made me realize my anger was keeping me from letting the most important thing happen: I wanted to be fair with my ex. I never wanted to look back and be embarrassed about how I acted, or worse, feel guilty because I had treated her shabbily. Jim reminded me that I loved her once, and while we could not be there again, there was no call (or desire on my part) to hurt her. So I didn’t. For that I am thankful.
It’s quite awhile since our divorce became final. From time to time I have sad thoughts, bad thoughts, about some of the times when we were together. But when we see each other now (usually with the kids who are young adults), we know we both behaved well during the mediation of our issues. We also have no regrets about our behavior following our mediation. We did it right. And we couldn’t have been successful had it not been for Jim’s skillful hand, patience and soft heart. Would I recommend him? You bet!
C.M.